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HammHawk

Any friend of ours is a friend of fools.

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Current Location: New Orleans

Vital Statistics

Real Name:
Elliott Hammer
Birthdate:
1969-02-10
Birthplace:
Topeka, KS
Education:
Whitson Elementary (Topeka); Eliot Elementary (Tulsa, OK) George W. Carver Middle School (Tulsa) Booker T. Washington High School (Tulsa) University of Kansas (BA Psyc) Tulane University (MS, PhD Experimental Social Psychology)
Distinguishing Marks:
"Gigantism," according to Gary Disproportionally small calves and strangely pronounced love handles Roman (read: "Massive") nose No cavities! Small chin from a life of mouthbreathing
Pre-Existing Conditions:
Hammer toes (literally) Still-pending voice change Assorted neuroses involving talking on the phone, offending people, and appearing presumptuous
Prior Convictions:
Never had the balls to do anything that would get me arrested
Current Job(s), Length Held:
Assistant Professor of Psychology for 10 years (4 at Tennessee State and 6 at Xavier University of Louisiana) Currently pending impressive title change: Associate Professor of Psychology and John LaFarge Professor in Social Justice
Previous Job(s), Length Held:
Red Cross Vehicle Cleaner (1983); Dishwasher/Cook, Silver Plow Bar & Grill (1984); Cook/Register/etc, Big Al's Subs & Health Foods (1985-1987); Pizza Deliverer/Travis Bickle Channeler, Pizza Shuttle (1989-1991); Graveyard Shift Waiter, Deja Vu Bar & Grill (1991); Graduate Student/Fellow/RA/Adjunct Instructor, Tulane (1991-1996); Waiter (again), Slice of Life (1996); Adjunct & Asst. Prof of Psychology, Belmont, Middle Tennessee State, Vanderbilt, & Tennessee State Universities (1996-2000)
Last Book Read (and opinion in 4 words or less):
A Long Way Down--Hornby Continues to Slide
Last Video Rented (and opinion in 4 words or less):
Kicking & Screaming--Will Ferrell Will Pay
Political Orientation:
Wannabe Liberal
Religious Affiliation:
Baffled/Skeptical
Musical Instrument(s):
I'm a listener, not a player (playa?)
Favorite Music/Band(s):
The New Orleans Sound (Fess, Jon Cleary, Dirty Dozen, Rebirth, Big Sam, Bonerama, PGF, All Marsali, Fats, Gatemouth, Joe Krown, Soul Rebels, Kirk Joseph, Kermit, Panorama, John Boutte, etc), Radiohead, Rolling Stones, Damien Rice, Wilco, Robert Randolph
Favorite Techno-Fetish-Object:
Whatever B tells me about
Favorite Sport/Activity:
I'm a watcher, not a player (playa?) College Basketball (go Jayhawks), Saints, Women's Beach Volleyball
Favorite Drug(s):
Bourbon, beer, wine, shrooms, conceit
Favorite Mixed Drink(s):
Bourbon, mixed with ice Beer, mixed with nothing Wine, mixed with nothing
Personal Motto/Excuse:
It's all my fault
Media for HammHawk:
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Created: May 31st, 2006
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Today's date: 2017-02-26