ROX J's Bartending Guide

Napoleon

In honor of one of the greatest dicks in history.

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Drink Recipe

You'll need a cocktail shaker for this drink.

Ingredients

ice
2 oz. gin
1/2 oz. Dubonnet Rouge
1/2 oz. Grand Marnier

Directions

Shake well; strain.


It's kind of an odd color. It smells kind of disgusting. It's kind of like a battle between conflicting flavors — and all of them are losing.

Review this drink...

Production Notes:

February 20th, 2004
A Two-take Wonder

J: I actually mixed this drink twice, even though it sucked both times.

The first time I did it was at the ass-end of a long night of playing Risk with some friends.

At the time, I knew how to make the drink (this one, unlike most, is a supposed “classic” recipe, rather than one I made up in my head).

I also knew what I wanted to tell viewers of Rox about it — drawing out all the subtle connections between the ingredients of the drink and its namesake, as well as the connections between the drink's French imperialist namesake and America's current imperialist president, “Little Man” Bush.

But that first time I made the drink, with videotape running, I was already too drunk to put all the ingredients together.

Sure, I got all the liquid potables in the same glass (which actually may have been a remarkable feat unto itself). But the significance of each ingredient, and the interconnectedness of those ingredients, and the political statement I was trying to make about Napoleon and his modern American heir, failed to pour out with near the same ease.

So, I did it again, the next night. Only then, when it was my first (instead of last) drink, was I able to draw it all together in my head and out my mouth. Mostly. Kinda.

Even so, this drink fails on the most basic level: it's unpleasant on the tongue. Sure, it might make you drunk. But so will Boone's Farm, or Mad Dog 20/20, or wood alcohol. Should you therefore drink any of these?

That's like asking if you should trust George Bush's motives.

Media for Napoleon:
Advertisement
Pix for Napoleon:
Napoleon Smells
J doesn't care for the smell of his Napoleon.

Tongue Stuck
Don't lick frozen metal.

Small Bottle
Is this a small bottle or a big one? It's all a matter of perspective.

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Created: July 12th, 2003
Modified: August 7th, 2003
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Today's date: 2017-06-22